blueteamnovel Chapter 8 Distance and Near
Chapter 8 Distance and Near
In the following days, Chen Duling's behavior became very strange, which was somewhat puzzling.
She appeared both near and far in front of Gao Huan.
One moment she's like a clingy cat, wanting to stick to him;
One moment it's like a frightened rabbit, hiding far away, not even daring to make eye contact.
Su Youpeng noticed, but didn't say anything.
Because her acting is getting better and better.
It was so good that the assistant director whispered to Alec Su privately, "Has Duling finally figured it out?"
Su Youpeng looked at Chen Duling's conflicted face on the monitor, remained silent for a few seconds, and then said, "Maybe she's finally getting it, or maybe she's just too immersed in the role."
The assistant director didn't understand, but Su Youpeng didn't explain further.
Having acted for so many years, he has seen many fellow actors like this, bringing the emotions from the drama into real life and transferring their feelings for the character to their co-stars.
This kind of thing is all too common on film sets.
But common doesn't necessarily mean good.
……
There was a scene in the morning, and the challenge lay in Xiao Erduo's eyes—she had to express all her love, resentment, and heartbreak through her eyes, even when Xu Yi couldn't see her.
Chen Duling did it.
Moreover, it did much better than Su Youpeng expected.
On the monitor, she looked at Gao Huan's back, her eyes first filled with an intense, almost overflowing love, then slowly turned into a deep helplessness, and finally settled on an indescribable pain, as if asking, "Why can't you turn around and look at me?"
"Cut!" Su Youpeng shouted, then paused for a few seconds, "Passed."
He didn't clap as usual, nor did he praise Chen Duling.
Because he could tell that the look in his eyes wasn't an act.
That's true.
……
Gao Huan also noticed it.
He glanced at Chen Duling as he passed by.
Chen Duling kept her head down and didn't look at him.
Gao Huan didn't say anything, walked to the rest area, picked up his water glass and took a sip.
Yangyang Jin leaned closer and whispered, "Duling isn't acting right today."
"Mm," Gao Huan said.
"Aren't you going to go take a look?"
"What are you looking at?"
Yangyang Jin opened her mouth, then closed it again.
She had been by Gao Huan's side for almost two years and knew his personality all too well.
He is not the kind of person who would proactively care about others, or even the kind of person who would proactively do anything.
He's like a machine; he only operates when he receives a clear instruction, otherwise he stays quietly, neither causing nor solving problems.
"It's nothing," Yangyang Jin said, turning to attend to other things.
Gao Huan leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a while.
He could feel Chen Duling's gaze drifting over from a corner of the set, landing on him, lingering for a few seconds, then moving away, only to drift back a moment later.
Like a moth that dares not approach but is reluctant to leave.
Gao Huan did not open his eyes.
He looked at Chen Duling's data on the system panel—heartbeat value 87, attachment value 79.
A heart rate of 87 is considered quite high in the system.
But he paid more attention to the attachment value.
79 is neither too high nor too low, just right at a dangerous critical point—any higher and it would become an obsession; any lower and you can extricate yourself in time.
Gao Huan opened her eyes and glanced in Chen Duling's direction.
She was sitting in the corner, holding a script in her hand, but her eyes were clearly not on the words. Her gaze was unfocused, staring at a certain page, and her fingers were unconsciously rubbing the edge of the paper.
Her assistant squatted down beside her and said something to her, but she just nodded mechanically, like a radio that couldn't receive a signal.
Gao Huan looked at it for two seconds, then looked away.
He recalled the message Meng Ziyi had sent him the previous night.
"Brother Huan, are you coming today? I bought your favorite wine."
He went.
Inside the apartment, Meng Ziyi was wearing his shirt, his hair still wet, clearly having just taken a shower. Several bottles of wine and some snacks sat on the coffee table.
When she saw him come in, her eyes lit up, and then she walked over, stood on tiptoe, and tried to kiss him.
Gao Huan tilted her head slightly, and her lips landed on his cheek.
"Let's drink first," he said.
Meng Ziyi paused for a moment, then smiled, a somewhat forced smile: "Okay."
The two men sat on the sofa drinking and chatting casually.
Meng Ziyi talked about her new play, the books she's been reading lately, and the cat she owns.
Gao Huan listened, occasionally humming in agreement, but neither asked any questions nor continued the conversation.
Meng Ziyi drank a few cups of wine, her face began to flush, and she leaned closer to him.
"Huan-ge," she said softly, "are you still angry with me?"
"I'm not angry," Gao Huan said.
"Then why have you been ignoring me?"
"busy."
Meng Ziyi looked at him with a complex emotion in her eyes, like a sense of grievance and a hint of probing.
"So you're not busy now?"
Gao Huan glanced at her but didn't answer.
Meng Ziyi bit her lip and reached out to unbutton his shirt.
This time, Gao Huan didn't dodge.
Gao Huan cleared that image from his mind, stood up, and walked towards the film set.
……
In the evening, the last scene was filmed.
Chen Duling came out after changing her clothes and saw Gao Huan standing at the entrance of the photography studio, holding a mobile phone in his hand.
She walked over and stood next to him without saying a word.
Gao Huan glanced at her, then put his phone in his pocket: "Let's go."
The two walked towards the hotel.
The weather is better today than yesterday. The wind isn't as cool, and the setting sun has painted the sky a deep orange-red. The shadows of the sycamore trees are very long.
Chen Duling walked beside him, her pace slower than usual.
She spent the whole day thinking about one thing—did she like Gao Huan or Xu Yi?
She asked herself this question many times, but each time she could not find an answer.
She met Gao Huan while filming "The Left Ear." The first face she saw of his was Xu Yi's. She was first attracted to him on set when she saw him playing Xu Yi.
She couldn't tell the difference.
She carried the emotions from the play into real life, transferring her feelings for Xu Yi to Gao Huan.
This is the most common mistake that method actors make.
But she couldn't control herself.
"Gao Huan," she called to him.
"Um."
"When you were playing Xu Yi, did you come to like Xiao Erduo?"
Gao Huan thought for a moment: "No."
Why?
"Because I am Gao Huan, not Xu Yi."
Chen Duling was silent for a moment, then said, "But sometimes I can't tell the difference."
Gao Huan glanced at her but didn't say anything.
Chen Duling lowered her head, looking at her toes: "I can't tell if I like Xu Yi or you."
Her voice trembled slightly as she said those words.
Gao Huan stopped and turned around to look at her.
The setting sun cast its light on his face, illuminating half of it in gold while the other half remained hidden in shadow.
"And what do you think?" he asked.
Chen Duling raised her head and looked into his eyes.
Those eyes were beautiful, but also empty. Like a deep pool of water, anything you throw in will be swallowed up, leaving not even a ripple.
"I don't know," she said.
Gao Huan looked at her for a few seconds, then reached out and ruffled her hair: "Then don't think about it anymore, just let nature take its course."
His hands were large, with distinct knuckles, bony yet powerful.
Chen Duling felt his warmth travel through her hair to her scalp, and her heart skipped a few beats.
But she knew that this action meant nothing.
Gao Huan treats everyone like this.
It's not gentleness; it's a habitual, emotionless action.
It's as natural as him unscrewing the bottle cap when drinking water or stepping with his left foot when walking.
"Are you busy tonight?" Chen Duling asked.
Gao Huan paused for a moment, then withdrew his hand: "Yes."
Chen Duling didn't ask what it was about, but she could roughly guess.
Last night when she returned to the hotel, she saw Gao Huan's car drive out of the parking lot, not in the direction of going to eat or buy things.
She stood by the window in the hotel lobby, watching the car's taillights disappear into the night, and stood there for a long time.
"Then go ahead," Chen Duling said, smiling, but the smile seemed a little forced.
Gao Huan glanced at her and nodded.
The two continued walking forward without saying another word.
Upon arriving at the hotel entrance, Gao Huan stopped and said, "You go up first."
Chen Duling hummed in agreement and walked into the hotel lobby.
After taking a few steps, she suddenly turned around: "Gao Huan."
"Um."
Will you remember me?
She had already asked this question once.
But the feeling I got today was different.
Last time I asked with anticipation, this time with a humble feeling of "I know the answer but I still want to ask".
Gao Huan looked at her and remained silent for two seconds before replying, "Yes."
Chen Duling smiled, her eyes crinkling, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.
She turned and left.
This time, she didn't look back.
……
Gao Huan watched her walk into the elevator, then turned and walked to the parking lot.
Get in the car, start the engine, and drive out of the hotel.
As the car drove through the night in Shanghai, streetlights swept overhead one by one, casting a flowing pattern of light and shadow on the windshield.
He took out his phone and glanced at the message Meng Ziyi had sent.
"Brother Huan, I bought new clothes today, do you want to come and take a look?"
Gao Huan didn't reply and threw his phone onto the passenger seat.
He recalled the question Chen Duling had just asked—"Will you remember me?"
meeting.
But "remembering" and "caring" are two different things.
Gao Huan remembers many people.
But he rarely thinks of many people.
Just like Chen Duling.
He will remember her, but he won't think about her.
This is the difference.
Gao Huan parked the car downstairs at the apartment building and went upstairs.
When he opened the door, Meng Ziyi, wearing a red sundress, was standing in the entryway waiting for him.
Seeing him come in, she smiled, a sweet smile: "Brother Huan, you're here."
Gao Huan changed his shoes and went into the living room.
There were several bottles of wine and some fruit on the coffee table.
Meng Ziyi followed behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, and pressed her face against his back: "You don't seem very happy today."
"No," Gao Huan said.
"Then why aren't you saying anything?"
"There's not much to say."
Meng Ziyi was silent for a moment, then let go of his hand, walked up to him, and looked up at him: "Then I won't say anything more."
She stood on tiptoe and kissed him.
Gao Huan closed his eyes briefly.
The image that flashed through my mind was Chen Duling's face as she stood at the hotel entrance, turning back—smiling, but without any smile in her eyes.
He thought, this is the significance of the 1123 theory.
No need to invest emotions, no need to take responsibility, just enjoy.
His girlfriend is Gulnazar, his lover is Chen Duling, and his bed partner is Meng Ziyi.
1-2-3.
Just right.
……
the next day.
set.
Chen Duling arrived earlier than usual.
She sat in the dressing room as the makeup artist applied her makeup. She closed her eyes and remained as still as a statue.
"Sister Duling, you don't look too well today," the makeup artist said.
"I didn't sleep well last night," Chen Duling said.
"What are you thinking about?"
Chen Duling opened her eyes, looked at her slightly tired face in the mirror, and remained silent for two seconds: "It's nothing."
The makeup artist wisely refrained from asking any further questions.
After finishing her makeup, Chen Duling walked out of the dressing room and headed to the film set.
From afar, she saw that Gao Huan had arrived and was standing next to the set talking to Su Youpeng.
He was wearing a black T-shirt today, and his hair wasn't styled much, but his face was still so handsome it seemed unreal.
Chen Duling glanced at him, then looked away and sat down in her seat.
She decided today not to look at him.
Don't initiate conversation with him.
Don't let your heart race when he walks by.
Don't blush when he looks at her.
She wanted to treat herself as a professional actress and Gao Huan as an ordinary colleague.
She can do it.
It definitely can.
……
The first scene has begun filming.
It's a scene between Xiao Erduo and Xu Yi in the classroom.
Xu Yi sat by the window, sunlight streaming in and bathing him in a golden glow.
Little Ears stood at the classroom door, looking at him.
The camera zoomed in on Chen Duling's face.
Her eyes were complex—there was liking, there was infatuation, and there was a sense of satisfaction that "just being able to see him is enough."
Su Youpeng frowned as he looked at the monitor.
That look again.
Exactly the same as yesterday.
It's not that it's bad, it's that it's too good.
It's so good that it's hard to tell if it's acting or real.
"Cut!" Su Youpeng shouted, "That's a pass."
Chen Duling breathed a sigh of relief, lowered her head, and dared not look at Gao Huan.
Gao Huan walked over from the window, and paused for a moment as he passed by her.
"Your dark circles are quite noticeable today," he said.
Chen Duling paused for a moment, then looked up.
Gao Huan has already gone far away.
As she watched his retreating figure, her heart began to race again.
I promised myself I wouldn't look at him, I promised myself I wouldn't think about him, and I promised myself I would treat him as just an ordinary colleague.
But he only said one sentence, and all her defenses collapsed.
Chen Duling lowered her head and bit her lip.
She suddenly felt very useless.
……
During the lunch break, Chen Duling sat alone in the lounge eating her boxed lunch.
The assistant was babbling on and on beside her, but she didn't hear a word she said.
The door was pushed open.
Gao Huan walked in, holding a cup of milk tea, and placed it in front of her.
"Here you go," he said.
Chen Duling stared at the cup of milk tea, momentarily stunned.
Taro Boba Milk Tea, less sugar and no ice.
"You..." She opened her mouth, but didn't know what to say.
"Yangyang bought too much," Gao Huan said, her tone as indifferent as if she were talking about something trivial.
After saying that, he turned and left.
Chen Duling stared at the cup of milk tea for a long while.
She knew that the statement "Yangyang bought too much" was false.
Yangyang Jin never drinks milk tea.
Gao Huan bought this milk tea especially for her.
But he won't admit it.
Just like he said that night, "We can date for half a month," he said it in a casual tone, as if he were talking about something insignificant.
That's just the kind of person he is.
He doesn't care about anything, he doesn't pay attention to anything, but he will do something that touches your heart when you don't expect it, and then pretend that nothing happened.
Chen Duling picked up the cup of milk tea and took a sip.
Sweet.
This time, my throat tasted sweet too.
She leaned back in her chair, looked at the ceiling, and sighed.
It’s over.
She's really finished.
……
Chen Duling was in much better condition during the afternoon's filming.
It's not the kind of "extraordinary performance" that makes it good, but rather a relaxed, natural, and comfortable kind of good.
Su Youpeng looked at the monitor and nodded.
The assistant director leaned over: "She's recovered?"
Su Youpeng shook his head: "No, she just used a different method."
"What do you mean?"
"She used to struggle to avoid getting involved, but now she doesn't struggle anymore."
The assistant director didn't understand, but didn't ask any more questions.
Su Youpeng looked at Chen Duling's bright eyes on the monitor and sighed inwardly.
He's seen far too many actors like that.
She got so into character that she carried the emotions from the drama into real life and fell in love with her co-star.
The final results were mostly not good.
But he couldn't remind Chen Duling.
Because she really acts well.
It was so good that he didn't want to call "cut".
……
In the evening, the last scene was filmed.
Chen Duling came out after changing her clothes and saw Gao Huan standing at the entrance of the photography studio, holding a mobile phone in his hand.
She walked over and stood next to him.
"Not going out today?" she asked.
"I'm not going," Gao Huan said.
Chen Duling's heart skipped a beat, but her face remained expressionless: "Shall we go back to the hotel?"
"Um."
The two walked together toward the hotel.
The weather is better today than yesterday. The setting sun has dyed the sky a deep orange-red, and the shadows of the sycamore trees are very long.
Chen Duling walked beside him, her steps lighter than usual.
"Gao Huan," she called to him.
"Um."
Why did you buy me milk tea today?
"I already said, it was bought by Yangyang Jin."
"Yangyang Jin never drinks milk tea."
Gao Huan glanced at her, a slight smile playing on his lips: "You have a keen eye for observation."
"You taught me that," Chen Duling said. "Method actors need to learn to observe life."
Gao Huan remained silent.
Chen Duling smiled and didn't ask any more questions.
She knew he wouldn't admit it.
But it's okay.
She doesn't need his acknowledgment.
All she needed to know was that, in his heart, she was at least not completely insignificant.
This is enough.
At least for now, that's enough.
……
Back at the hotel, Chen Duling took a shower, lay on the bed, and took out her phone.
On Weibo, the hashtag #LeftEarStillsLeaked# is still gaining traction.
She scrolled through the comments and saw one that had been pushed to the top of the trending list:
"Gao Huan and Du Ling have such great chemistry, are they really together?"
Someone replied below: "Don't talk nonsense, Gao Huan has a girlfriend."
Who is it?
"Nazha, you don't know?"
"Oh... never mind then."
Chen Duling stared at these comments for a long time, then put her phone face down to her chest.
She closed her eyes, and the image of Gao Huan on set that day flashed through her mind.
He sat by the window, sunlight falling on his shoulders, his head slightly tilted, as if he were thinking about something.
At that moment, she really couldn't tell if he was Xu Yi or Gao Huan.
Or rather, she didn't want to distinguish between them.
Whether it's getting too caught up in the role or just deceiving yourself, it's all part of the experience.
She just wanted to be closer to him for the rest of her time on set.
Closer.
Even though she knew this person would never belong to her.
Even though she knew he might not care about her at all.
But it's okay.
At least now, she can openly love him in the play.
In the name of the character.
As "Little Ears".
This is enough.
Chen Duling turned over and buried her face in the pillow.
The pillow smelled of shampoo, but it wasn't his.
She suddenly felt like crying.
But she held back.
There's still filming to do tomorrow.
She still needs to watch over him tomorrow.
Tomorrow she will still be captivated by his gaze.
Tomorrow will be another new day.