blueteamnovel Chapter 163: Fever
Chapter 163: Fever
Through the haze of her fever, Caelith sensed him lift his free hand. It hovered above her head. For a brief moment, it seemed as though he wanted to touch her hair. Then it looked as though he might push her away.
The hand lingered there for a long time, suspended in uncertainty.
In the end, it slowly descended, gently and carefully. His palm came to rest against her back. Through the thin blanket, he patted her softly. Again.
And again.
Like someone soothing a frightened child after a nightmare.
Half asleep, Caelith smiled faintly.
"Rhaegar... you’re so good to me..."
The hand on her back stilled, only for a heartbeat. Then it resumed its slow, careful rhythm.
Erian sat beside the bed and watched her quietly. Moonlight filtered through the narrow lattice window, scattering silver across her face.
The fever had painted her cheeks an unnatural shade of crimson. Her lips were dry and slightly cracked. A faint crease lingered between her brows, as though even in sleep she could not escape her discomfort.
She clung tightly to his arm. Restless. Uneasy.
One moment, she would unconsciously drift closer to him. The next, she would curl inward beneath the blankets, seeking comfort from a chill only she could feel.
Erian did not know what he was supposed to do. He wanted to pull his arm away, but her grip was surprisingly firm.
He wanted to stand and leave, yet she was curled beside him like a small creature seeking warmth on a cold winter night.
He did not dare move. He was afraid of waking her, afraid she would open her eyes and discover it was him sitting there.
And even more afraid that she would open those eyes... Only to call someone else’s name.
Slowly, he lowered his gaze, and continued looking at her. As though trying to memorize every detail.
The gentle rise and fall of her breathing. The strands of dark hair scattered across the pillow. The fragile vulnerability she never allowed anyone to see when she was awake.
Outside, the night deepened. The moon climbed higher above the courtyard, bathing the world in pale silver light.
Inside the room, silence reigned. Only the occasional crackle of the oil lamp disturbed the stillness.
And Erian remained where he was, motionless and vigilant, keeping watch through the long hours of the night. Guarding the woman who would never belong to him.
He was very close. Close enough to count every individual lash resting against her cheeks.
Even in sleep, Caelith’s brows remained faintly furrowed, as though she were trapped in an uneasy dream. A dream she could not escape.
His gaze lingered on her face, almost reverent.
He knew he should leave. He knew this moment did not belong to him. Yet he could not bring himself to stand.
So he stayed. Watching over her in silence. Content with nothing more than being near her. Even if, by the time dawn arrived, she would never know he had been there at all.
Whatever dream held her captive, it was far from a pleasant one. From time to time, indistinct words slipped from her lips.
"Rhaegar..."
Something inside Erian sank, yet he did not move. He continued patting her back.
Again and again.
Patiently.
Gently.
As though that simple gesture alone could soothe every hurt she carried within her heart.
He had no idea how much time passed before she suddenly stirred.
Turning over, she shifted to face him. Her eyes remained closed. Yet her hand slowly lifted and touched his face.
Erian froze.
Her fingertips were warm with fever. His skin felt cool beneath them.
Slowly, her fingers traced upward, across the line of his jaw. Over his cheek. Along the curve of his brow. Across his closed eyelids. Down the bridge of his nose.
Until at last they came to rest against his lips.
His breath caught. For one suspended instant, the entire world seemed to fall silent. Her fingertip lingered lightly against his mouth.
Soft. Warm. Fragile.
"Rhaegar..." She whispered the name again.
Erian looked at her. Moonlight washed her face in silver. Her eyes remained closed. Her lashes trembled faintly.
He could not tell whether she was dreaming or hovering somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.
He only knew one thing... He should move her hand away. He should stand up. He should leave.
But he could not move.
Her finger was still resting against his lips.
He wanted to speak, to say something––anything at all––yet when his lips parted slightly, they brushed against her fingertip.
The contact lasted only a fraction of a second, barely enough to be noticed, yet it struck him like a bolt of lightning.
His entire body stiffened.
Then, suddenly, Caelith smiled. It was the smile of someone lost in a dream, touched by fever and stripped of all restraint.
"Your lips..." she murmured sleepily. "They’re so soft..."
Erian’s heart slammed violently against his ribs. For a terrifying moment, he thought she might hear it.
Then she withdrew her hand. Rolled over. And turned her back to him.
As though nothing had happened. As though she had never touched him at all.
Within moments, her breathing deepened once more. She had fallen asleep again.
Erian remained seated beside the bed.
Motionless. Unable to move. Unable to think.
The lingering warmth of her fingertip still seemed etched upon his lips.
Slowly, almost unconsciously, he lifted a hand and touched his mouth, as though trying to confirm that it had truly happened. As though he feared it had been nothing more than a dream of his own.
A long time passed before he finally rose to his feet. Crossing to the window, he leaned silently against the wall.
Outside, the moon hung high above the sleeping courtyard, yet his heartbeat showed no sign of calming. It continued pounding relentlessly inside his chest.
Wild. Unsteady. Unfamiliar.
He did not understand what was happening to him. He only knew that, for one dangerous moment... He had wanted something. Something he should never want. Something that had never belonged to him.
He did not dare follow the thought any further.
Closing his eyes, he clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white.
***
By the time dawn approached, Caelith’s fever had finally broken. Her breathing grew steady, and her sleep peaceful.
No longer did she toss restlessly beneath the blankets. No longer did she shiver and murmur in discomfort.
Erian returned to the bedside. Carefully, he reached out and touched her forehead––the fever was gone.
The moment he felt the coolness of her skin, something inside his chest quietly loosened.
Relief. Simple and profound.
For a long while, he stood there looking at her.
When she slept, she seemed so small. Curled beneath the blankets like a tiny creature sheltered from the wind and rain of the world. Defenseless. Peaceful. Safe.
His gaze lingered on her face as though he were trying to commit every detail to memory. As though this might be the last time he would ever be allowed to look at her so openly.
Eventually, he turned away, opened the door, and stepped outside.
The eastern horizon had begun to brighten. Pale ribbons of dawn stretched across the distant sky.
Erian stood alone in the courtyard, watching darkness slowly retreat before the coming day.
The morning breeze swept past him, cool and sharp. Yet the feeling inside his chest was colder still.
Slowly, he crouched down, lowered his head, and buried his face against his knees.
The first rays of dawn spilled across the courtyard stones, but they brought him no warmth.
***
Inside the room, Caelith shifted slightly in her sleep.
A faint smile lingered at the corners of her lips.
She was dreaming. Dreaming that Rhaegar had returned. Dreaming that he had sat beside her all night long.
That he had held her close whenever she shivered. That he had gently patted her back and stayed by her side until the fever finally faded away.
How wonderful.
The warmth of that dream wrapped around her heart like a blanket.
She nestled deeper beneath the covers. The smile on her lips deepened slightly.
And she continued sleeping peacefully, never knowing that the person who had remained beside her throughout the night had been someone else entirely.