We Are Legion (We Are Bob)

Book 2: Chapter 12: Bob Calling

Book 2: Chapter 12: Bob Calling

Bill

May 2171

Epsilon Eridani

[Incoming SCUT connection. New node]

Guppy made the announcement with the same fishy poker face that he would use to announce the end of the world. I looked up and grinned. Garfield dropped the file he was working on and came running over. Only a handful of Bobs, so far, had received the SCUT plans that I’d been broadcasting and had built their own FTL transceiver. Each new connection was an event.

I held the moment as long as I could. Just as Garfield drew a breath to yell at me, I said to Guppy, “Play the incoming.”

“This is Bob calling. Bill, you actually cracked FTL communications? I’m impressed!”

I did a fist pump, and then Garfield and I whooped and performed a high five—the nerd kind, where you miss.

Logically, Bob-1 was no more significant than any other Bob that received the SCUT plans, but this wasn’t a matter of logic. Bob-1 was like Odin the All-Father. He started the whole thing. For me it was special, since he’d cloned me. For any of the third-generation or later Bobs, it would be like legend walking among us.

Of course, that wouldn’t stop me from pulling the usual prank.

I popped into Bob’s VR without warning, coffee in hand. I noticed, as the VRs synced, that he’d been doing some enhancements of his own. The versions weren’t incompatible, but there would be video glitches. I’d have to upgrade him to my latest release so he would be fully compatible with BobNet.

“Holy—” Bob jerked in surprise, and Spike bolted from the desk she’d been sitting on.

I laughed. “Works every time. Hi Bob. Welcome to BobNet.”

Bob smiled at the implied tip of the hat. I took a millisecond to look around his VR. This appeared to be a planetary environment—a village of some kind. Some species of natives were going about their business. They were obviously intelligent, since they had spears and axes and stuff. They looked a little like walking bats with a dash of pig thrown in, by way of long snouts with flat nostrils. Their fur was short, generally gray, with brown overtones. Kind of ugly, really.

“Wow, what’s been happening?” I thought for a moment. “Well, Milo discovered two habitable planets at Omicron2 Eridani. Named them Vulcan and Romulus.”

Bob laughed. “Of course he did. What else could he do?”

I grinned back at him, then got serious. “Riker and his clone, Homer, had a big battle in Sol with the last of the Brazilian space navy, and discovered that humanity had almost wiped itself out in a system-wide war. They’re building colony ships and are hoping to get some people to Vulcan before the Earth stops being livable.”

Bob interrupted. “How many people left?”

“About fifteen million, give or take.”

“And how big are the colony ships?”

I nodded, understanding where Bob was going. “Ten thousand capacity. Yeah, I know. Fifteen hundred ships or fifteen hundred trips. But we can only do what we can do.”

Bob nodded. He looked worried, and I couldn’t blame him. Riker and I had this conversation regularly. So far, we hadn’t found any shortcut.

I tried to change the subject to lighten the mood. “We’ve got a minimum of about twenty Bobs running around the galaxy right now, by my estimate.” I waved a hand in casual dismissal. “You know. The usual. Blah, blah...”

Bob visibly shook off the funk and tried to smile. “Sounds like you’ve taken to the job of central clearing house with a vengeance. Got anything going in Epsilon Eridani besides the SCUT?”

“I’m slowly terraforming Ragnarök. Riker has sent some seeds and plant samples my way with an outgoing Bob. They should be here in three years or so. Then I’ll try to get some basic moss/lichen hybrids growing. Oh, and the Android project. I’ve got a quadruped android working, more or less, and I can control it remotely. It’s slow going though, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.”

“I’ll want one of those when they’re available,” Bob said. “I’d like to be able to go down to Eden as an actual presence instead of a floating camera.”

“Mmm.” I nodded. It looked like Bob was pretty invested in the lives of the Deltans. No real surprise, though.